I miss Lagos

I miss Lagos and all of the wahala of living in that place. I came across this picture on flickr and was like, I had to do a post about lagos. This picture reminds me of when I had to take the bus to do my GCE in Oshodi or to CMS for school shopping. No, I never lived in Ikoyi or in VI.(I notice that most people that I ask where they lived in lagos tell me Ikoyi or VI abegi leave story)
Anyway back to my busing experience in Naija, GCE came up just a few months after I left high school or rather the secluded life of boarding school and so I was on my own o. Going to CMS was with my mom, so at least I had company.
I remember the conductors hanging from the bus shouting "Osho-dii, Oshodii, 20 naira wole pelu change e o"( enter the bus with your change) lol. After the bus has been filled with the passengers, the conductor once again telling his Oga(boss/the driver) Oga mi go on sun u. (means go on) I also remember the conductor shouting the different bus stops and people responding 'o wa o' lol. Something that was also funny was "madam shift" na 4 people go sit for back o. But most of all, I remember a time when, there was fuel scarcity or strike, and buses became so scare,okada (motorcycle) was the order of the day, but people I was too scared to take okada from Oshodi home(not to say I had not taken okada on short distances before o).Anyway people started walking ,na so me self join them begin dey waka, I was soo tired when I got home."
Fast forward, a few years later, my first time on the city bus in Fl, I was not sure on how to alert the bus driver about my bus stop. I kept hearing a bell like sound and the bus driver stopping to let people out, I actually got off at the wrong stop because someone got off at that stop. That incident got me very home sick, I missed "o wa o", I also had to walk to the next bus stop which was quite a distance to catch my next bus.
People ask me all the time if I miss home and my answer is always " I miss home alot" Honestly I thank God, I grew up in Lagos and would not trade that experience for anything

Misconceptions

Whenever I identify myself as a Nigerian to people who don't know me,I sometimes get asked the weirdest questions, I'm sure if you are foreign born and speak with a so called accent, you can identify with me.Some questions I have been asked and my sarcastic answers include:

1.Q Is Mandela the president of Africa?
A. Yes, he is
2. Q.Do you ride camels in Africa, as in is it your main form of transportation?
A. Yes, the camels have parking spaces
3.Q Did you come to America on a boat?
A.Slave trade ended long ago, what are planes for?
4. Do you wear clothes/shoes back home?
A. No, we roam about naked
5. Q.How come you speak English so well?
A. We speak English in my country
6. Q. How come you're so pretty?
A. How come you are so ugly?
7. Q.Do you know .... his father is the king of Nigeria?
A. Yes, so is my father
8. Do you have houses in Africa?
A. We live in trees with the monkeys
9. Do you have Music?(honestly)
A. We dance to the rustling of the leaves
10. Can you speak afrikaan?
A. No, I speak Yoruba.
11. Are you of the Zulu tribe?
A. No, I'm of the Yoruba tribe
12. Did you ever watch TV back home
A. No we watch ourselves
13. Have you seen tigers?
A. No I've seen chickens

These are only a few of the many I can remember off the top of my head, If you have any, you'll like to share, please don't hesitate to do so

A 10 year old girl also just recently told me that she has visited Nigeria but was not able to visit Africa (lol, I'm not making this up)

No More!

This is one topic that I'm very passionate about, and although I'm not an advocate of the death penalty, I believe the commission of this crime warrants the death penalty. I'm talking about the molestation or sexual abuse of a child. I think that most child molesters get off with a slap on the wrist. What on God's green earth is attractive about a 2 year old child or even a 12year old child's body? Whatever happened to carrying out your fantasies with a willing adult participant?
Most times, the perpetrators are people that we trust such as teachers, priests, pastors, family friends even our own blood relatives. Once again I ask, what is so attractive about an innocent child?Why are these fools so bent on destroying the child? Even though, some resources and counselling might help the child, think about it, most people have flash backs for the rest of their lives. Some people try to get over it, but some never do for as long as they live.
What is most amazing, is the fact, that women perpetrators are becoming as bold as their male counterparts. Have you seen the number of female teachers on the news lately that have preyed on young men? So parents can't even trust sending their children to school without their children being preyed on. Like I stated earlier, these fools are let off the hook very easily maybe 10 years in jail with probation and signing up with the sex offender registry in whatever city they live in or move to. Most child molesters will repeat the crime, so why not leave them in jail and throw the keys away?.Why is it that drug dealers get harsher punishments than child molesters?
This problem is universal, at least if you get caught on this side of the world, there is some kind of punishment. In Nigeria, I'm not sure that people even want to talk about it. Parents are scared of what people will say if they confront the situation, so they brush it under the rug. Many 'aunties and uncles" are taking advantage of innocent children while Mummy and Daddy are busy trying to make a living. Most of these kids are too ashamed to tell their parents or sometimes have been threatened by the adult that has sexually abused them.
Sexual abuse of a child cannot be prevented in all situations, however we can start out by talking to our kids, establishing a good rapport with them, abeg don't trust nobody when it comes to your kids, That person that you feel, you know so well might be the one person that is molesting your kid. There are various websites that address the issue. One example is: http://childmolestationprevention.org/.
This is a difficult topic for me to talk about, but lets raise our voices as adults and say "No More" because it could be your son, daughter or relative that becomes the next victim.

We are smart People

"In a survey on the global awareness of children and teens, in ten countries, students in Nigeria the only African country included- ranked highest showing the strongest grasp of international affairs. Dead last was the United Kingdom just below the United States (Essence Magazine pg 123 Feb 2008)
Enough Said.
We are smart people despite the fact that a lot of people think all we do in Nigeria is 419. The average Nigerian is very concerned about getting an education. Even families, that are illiterate strongly encourage their children to get an education. A Nigerian will actually go to the hottest or coldest part of the globe to get an education. I bet you that there is at least one Nigerian in every University campus in the United States.
To all my fellow Nigerians I Say "Rock On" cause we Rock!

Life

I got to school yesterday and found out that the brother of a colleague and classmate of mine passed away over the weekend. He was only 32 and according to his obituary, he died of natural causes. Even though I never really knew this person, I still felt a sense of loss because he was so young. All day yesterday, i thought of the family and the different emotions that they must have felt. This leads me to my post of today.
Death, as we know is inevitable as long as you are born into this world. I remember someone saying that no matter how long you live on earth, let your life count for something. So whether you live to 70 or 80 or 35 , ask yourself, "Have I made an impact on my world or my society or even my family? If death should come at this very moment, will people remember me for something I did (positively) or will they just attend my funeral because of my family or because I lived in the same neighborhood with them etc ?
I've made up my mind to make a difference in the lives of people who know me and those who don't. In the lives of people who hate me and those who love me.
I've decided to remove myself from the bandwagon of bench-warmers and become active in my community.
What will you be remembered for?

Happy MLK day

The year 2008, marks 40 years since MLK was assassinated on the balcony of his hotel room in Memphis. A few months ago, I had the privilege of visiting that hotel which has since become the MLK museum and it was quite an experience. I implore that if you ever visit the City of Memphis that you visit the MLK museum. I actually felt as if I lived in the era of when he was alive:the museum takes you through the civil rights movement and what African Americans had to go through because of the color of their skin. I tell you it was really sad. At the end of the museum tour, which was when he was assassinated, I actually felt a sense of loss. Anyways, like I earlier stated, visit with your family, friends and loved ones and it'll be worth your time and money.
In conclusion, MLK and the civil rights movement did not only fight for equality for African Americans but also for the all black people like me. Even though, I grew up in Nigeria, I have been given the opportunity to come to the United States and work and go to the school of my choice,the opportunity to get quality health care and the opportunity to live in the area of my choice (despite white flight lol) and most importantly, the oppotunity to vote and voice my opinions without being lynched.This is not to say that racial discrimination does not exist, but at least I'm tolerated as compared to being hated
For this, I'm grateful for the civil rights movement and the likes of MLK.

I need....

ring ring ring
me: hello
caller: hi madam t
me: D, how are you?
caller: I'm fine, cant talk too long cause I dont have credit on my phone, but
I need $500 because Ihad an accident and i need to register for classes and buy books for school
me: ...but Dele, I'm a student, dont really have that money
caller:Why are you so stingy?Debola(another friend) just sent $1000 to sarah . Is it not the same america that you are, anyway try and send me something.... click(hangs up)

See me see trouble o, $500 ko, $500 ni! Am I supposed to pluck the money from my backyard tree?
Honestly, I'm very curious about what they show on Nigerian TV about people living abroad.Do they honestly think money grows on trees and that we dont have any use for the money we earn.
Most of the money, we earn is used to pay BILLS.
Light bill $90 due on the 15th
car note $275 due on the 30th
mortgage/rent $975 due on the 1st
credit card $100 due on the 15th
Insurance $70 due on the 8th
These are just a few examples of some bills, and trust me you'll get a late fee or even a dent in your credit if you make late payments
Back home, majority of people with cars own them (no car note) home owners, more than likely do not have to pay mortgage, even renters pay at the beginning of the year, light bill (how many people honestly pay on a monthly basis?)ok maybe they have to pay phone bills... hmm think it is a pay as you go system.School fees(every 3 months) so abeg where is your money? I just think I need to call my friends back home and ask them to send me some money or what do you think?Few of my people/friends who come to visit from Naija spend more than I can imagine spending right now. The evidence is in their shopping. They can afford to buy suits worth $200 and bags worth almost $400;something i cannot do without swiping the card
Now if you dont work, thats a different case;but if you have a full time job, abeg dont call me as I have to work my .... off to make a living and the same way you dont send me the money you make, I owe you nothing. I owe my parents, sibling and maybe a few friends who I know really need my help. Aside from that, I owe no man

My Nappy Self

I'm going to start by saying that i'm a lover of nappiness(kinky hair). For some strange reason, I also love the word nappy or kinky, it makes me feel a connection with my hair.For people who have a problem with the word, no offense.
My decision to go nappy was very coincidental, my hairdresser at the time kept cutting my permed hair everytime i went to visit because she said it was damaged. The last time she cut it, i got soo frustrated and made up my mind to stay away from the perm for about six months. Once my natural started to grow out, i just loooved it and never went back to the perm and my prayer at that time was"God, dont let me die, let me enjoy my hair for a while" lol. Four years later and i'm still loooving my hair despite all my initial experiments. A lot that i've learnt about my hair has come from motown girl and afrobella. Thank you girls, you helped me keep my nappy hair despite all the critism from family and friends.
Now mind you, i live in a small town, where 50% of the population is black but natural hair is generally seen as unkempt and horrible. I have actively looked for a hairdresser for my hair, only to be told "we only work with straight hair (permed hair). I've also seen less than 5 people with nappy hair in my school. Moving from a big city where a good number of ladies wear their hair nappy to a small town, where everyone and their mama wears their hair straight(despite the condition of their hairlines)is quite dissappointing for me.
My home country is not any better, as most Nigerians wear their hair straight.Nappy hair is seen as being poor or unpolished. I'm not trying to bash sisters with straight hair, understand that how you choose to wear your hair is your business as how I choose to wear my hair is my business abi (right)?
anyway to the ladies in the house who have lots of strands of hair, or few strands of hair i say ROCK ON

Marriage and Babies

Ok people, i'm curious as to the reason why people always feel the need to ask me questions that is no business of theirs. Intially it was; "oh when are you getting married?"Nothing wrong with the question you might think. I'll tell you what i find wrong with the question. First and foremost I cant marry myself abi (right)? secondly, i'm not marrying any scumbag just to be called Mrs Someborri and thirdly half of the people who asked me that question were actually divorced. My thoughts were ' so now you want me to be like you?'Among my people, being married is some kind of prestige or honor. I guess even if your husband is useless, as long as you are Mrs.... people would respect you. How ironic!
Ok, now, I've found a wonderful man to share my life with, the next question is 'Do you have children, or when do you plan to have children? Haba, na wah o, people take am easy. Na God dey give Pikin(God gives children). I went to a babyshower today, and that was the question, most people were asking, only to find out that they started having babies at 14 and 15(abeg thats way to early, my opinion)shoot me if you wish, i think anyone under 20 is way too young to have children. What happened to going to college or trade school to make a better life for that child? (i know, some people attain these things after having kids, but majority do not)
anyways, just wanted to say, there is a time and season for everything and I'm in no rush, in God's time, everything will work itself out.